Over the last 18 months or so I have felt more inspired than I have in literally decades, not only at work but also with my webcomics, cartoons, comic strips and writing. I have also been feeling stronger and have more faith in my abilities and talents than I have for a long time. This is due in no small part to my wonderful new wife and my moving ‘up here’ to Manchester. Over this period I have pitched for projects I would have shied away from in the past, submitted work to be published (and had some accepted too!) and generally have put my head above the parapet. Sometimes I even feel like my fearless self of some 25 to 30 years ago when I was sure I was destined to be the next big thing in comics and science fiction. Oh younger me, how foolish you were…
Obviously not every teenage wannabe is going end up an adult gonnabe and along the way I was deterred from my goal and ended up feeling unworthy of my dreams. There was, and still is, a song that seemed to sum it all up to me. On my vinyl copy of Steve Vai’s excellent Passion & Warfare there was (and still is) a track called ‘The Audience is Listening’ during which a boy, showing no small talent at fret-board antics, is put down and belittled by his teacher for his actions and dreams. I was convinced that this song finished with the spoken line ‘…now I’m very, very shy’. Which I thought just about summed up my failure to achieve anything along the lines I had dreamt.
Imagine my surprise many years later when I found out that the line ‘…now I’m very, very shy’ was in fact ‘No, I’m very, very shy’ and was also the first line of the next song on the album, ‘I Would Love To’. It had nothing to do with rounding off the previous track at all.
Sometimes though I still try and channel the younger me who wanted to, metaphorically, ‘rock out’ and shock the world and it gives me the additional strength to try new things. Not that I need it now, living with my muse as I do :o)
Anyway, here it is, for your ears. Enjoy.